evanevanevan

SILVER SPRING, MD—His long black hair flowing behind him as he threw himself around, across, and over the field at Animal Planet Stadium in his trademark reckless, acrobatic style, 9-week-old puli Troy Pupamalu dominated Puppy Bowl V Sunday by relentlessly hurling his body into squeaky-ball carriers and punishing adorable downfield retrievers with torrents of blindside licks.

[the onion]

See also:  Puppy Bowl V recap

Like everything that has to be funny on a weekly basis, The Onion can be hit-or-miss, but this story's a gem.

T.J. Maxx's semi-annual or going-out-of-business sale.

Financial analysts, observing more than 100 locations nationwide, cited large quantities of off-brand and wildly scattered merchandise as evidence that T.J. Maxx has either been devastated by the economic downturn, or is carrying on as usual in spite of it.

[the onion]